


The Wild

by AidanChase



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Blow Jobs, First Order Poe Dameron, Jedi Ben Solo, Kissing, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:26:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28224591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AidanChase/pseuds/AidanChase
Summary: Ben doesn't want Poe to go, doesn't want Poe to change.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4
Collections: Darkpilot Holiday Exchange





	The Wild

**Author's Note:**

  * For [solohux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/solohux/gifts).



> written as part of the Darkpilot Holiday Exchange. Many prompt ideas were given and this AU suggestion gripped me so hard that I now have 13k squirreled away for it! but for now here is a snapshot of our best boys.
> 
> Happy Holidays! My smut fingers are rusty, but I hope you enjoy.

Ben fiddled with the switch on his saber hilt. He could sense Poe climbing the steps into the garden, coming to find him. Anxiety and fear twisted in Ben’s gut, and no amount of breathing nor meditation was able to calm it. 

In fact, it only grew as Poe crested the steps of the temple, and the setting sun caught on his new, stiff, grey uniform, with the First Order patch blazing on his shoulder.

Poe grinned at him, with his smile as bright as the sun, and Ben struggled to smile back.

“What do you think?” Poe asked. “Do I look like a real pilot?”

Ben clipped his saber onto his belt and closed the distance between him and Poe. He pulled the starched hat from Poe’s head and the pile of dark curls spilled out, cascading over his ears and eyes.

“Hey, come on —” Poe laughed and reached for his cap but Ben intercepted him with a kiss, and Poe melted right into it.

If Ben thought that the kiss would ease his anxiety the way meditation had not, he was sorely mistaken. It tasted wrong.

It tasted sterile, like starch and disinfectant. The fabric was stiff beneath his touch, not like the worn leather Poe usually wore. There was no scent of flight suit sweat nor droid grease. There was nothing wild nor electric about this kiss — except that when Poe tangled his hands in Ben’s long, dark hair, Ben finally forgot what he had been so worried about.

Even if he was unsure of the future, at least for the moment, Poe still loved him.

—————————— ✦✧✦✧ ——————————

The darkness was ever-present. Ben didn’t mean to cry out, to startle Poe, but he must have.

When he was finally able to return to his body, away from that wretched, cold, dark place in the stars, away from that scarred face whispering fear and anger into him, he found himself sitting up in bed with Poe’s warm body leaning against his, as Poe his shoulder and whispered soft words of comfort.

“You’re here with me,” Poe reminded him softly. Even the necklace with his mother’s wedding ring that Poe never removed was warm against Ben’s back.

“I’m sorry,” Ben murmured. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“S’alright,” but Poe yawned.

Ben shook his head. “I’m going to meditate, I think. I should let you sleep. You’ve got an early report time in the morning.”

Poe wrapped his arms around Ben and pulled him close. “Don’t leave.”

It was a selfish and unfair request. Poe was the one who would be gone in the morning, flying somewhere in those cold, dark stars, and Ben would still be here, left to fight the darkness alone.

But when Poe pressed his lips against the back of Ben’s neck, Ben forgot everything else. Poe’s hands slid down Ben’s bare chest and paused at his hips. Ben put his hands over Poe’s and together, they finished undressing Ben. Ben turned and met Poe’s lips. This kiss was warm, full of longing, and Ben closed his eyes. He allowed Poe to draw him in more deeply, allowed Poe to pull him back onto the bed, and allowed Poe to guide his hands to the waistband of Poe’s undergarments.

It was so easy to forget anxiety and nightmares in these moments. It was so easy for Ben to trail his lips down Poe’s neck, to get lost in Poe’s soft moans as Ben nipped on his ear.

Poe wrapped his hand around Ben’s cock and and Ben rutted into it instinctively. He moaned softly and carefully pushed his knees into Poe’s thighs, spreading Poe apart.

Poe laughed softly and pulled his hand away. “Maybe not tonight. You did say I had an early report time.”

Not for the first time and not for the last, Ben’s anger at that First Order patch burned. He did not want to let Poe go, no matter what Luke had advised about attachments. He moaned into Poe’s neck, or maybe it was more of a whine.

Poe tangled his hand in Ben’s hair, scratching tenderly. “I’ll still take care of you,” he whispered. “I always do.”

Chills ran down Ben’s spine as Poe’s breath tickled his ear, pushing out his anger and fear. A distant part of Ben wanted to stay angry, to challenge Poe’s words, to push back that Poe would not always be there — had been absent more often than not lately — but that anger was forgotten as Poe carefully flipped them around and sat on Ben’s hips. He kissed Ben again, and Ben caught a hint of that wildness that had first attracted him to Poe in the first place, that impulsive nature, that didn’t worry about consequences or report times. Poe lingered on Ben’s collar, carefully drawing a bruise that would be hard to hide with his tunic. It was reckless and rash, and Ben tightened his hand in Poe’s curls, pulling his face back up for a crushing kiss. He could taste the smile, the laughter in Poe breath and all he could think was that he never wanted to let go.

But Poe pulled away, shifted down until his smile and laughter were wrapped not around Ben’s lips but around his cock. Ben tipped his head back and moaned. His mind stilled, aware of absolutely nothing but the heat pooling low as Poe tightened his mouth and drew back. It was the sort of peace and emptiness Ben strived for in meditation, but always found just out of reach. He was not overwhelmed, simply still.

“Poe,” he whispered, desperation in his voice — and again, and again, Poe’s name was drawn from his mouth as if it were the essence of each exhale, until Ben was spent entirely, in strength and breath.

Did he really love Poe, or did he love the way Poe burned the darkness out of him, the way Poe’s energy seemed all-consuming, driving every thought and worry from his mind?

Poe’s mouth moved to Ben’s thighs, warm, soft, and his hands caressed his hips, gentle, allowing Ben to slowly settle back into the reality of the bed, of the night, of the greying dawn over Coruscant.

Ben tangled his hand in Poe’s hair and tugged gently, guiding Poe up until they were kissing and this time it felt right. This time it was all the spontaneity and energy that Ben had always loved. It was wild and safe all at once.

And then Poe pulled away. He climbed out of bed and Ben swallowed.

“Already?” he whispered.

Poe gave him an apologetic smile. “Early report time. It’s nearly sunrise.”

Ben closed his eyes. He did not want to watch Poe put on that dreadful uniform.

He might have fallen asleep, because he had hardly closed his eyes when he felt the bed dip as Poe sat back down to pull on his boots, and Ben got a deep breath full of the sterile, wretched grey linen. But then Poe’s hand was in his hair and he forgot what he was so angry about.

“Ben?”

Ben forced himself to open his eyes and look up at Poe. 

“I —” Poe bit down on his lip. “Yesterday I got promoted. They’re moving me up to Commander. I didn’t want to tell you until I knew the details, but… the details will probably come with a position on a Star Destroyer, rather than a fleet on Coruscant.”

Ben closed his eyes again, tried to pretend this was another dark nightmare.

“It won’t be forever. I’ll get leave.”

Ben held his breath, even as Poe leaned down and kissed him goodbye, leaving him cold and alone.

And at breakfast, when Luke tentatively brought up the idea to leave Coruscant, to seek out the First Jedi Temple, Ben did not hesitate to say yes.

—————————— ✦✧✦✧ ——————————

The interrogation cell was cold and dark like Ben’s nightmares. He flinched as the door slid open and his eyes were assaulted with glaring white light from the corridor.

“I had no idea we had the best pilot in the Resistance on board,” a familiar voice said, but with far more coldness than Ben had ever known in it.

Ben kept his eyes on the cuffs around his hands and refused to look up, to look beyond the polished black boots that approached him.

“I didn’t have to be,” he murmured. “It could’ve been you.”

There was a hand on Ben’s chin and Ben hated how warm it was. He hated how his gaze was forced up into those familiar eyes, hated the way something swelled within him, hated the memory of peace that threatened to overwhelm him. All the resistance in him seemed to melt, even as Poe glared at him.

“You’ll tell me where your mother is hiding,” Poe hissed.

Ben, reluctantly, jerked away from Poe’s grip. He took in the stripes on Poe’s wrist and gritted his teeth. “You’re a colonel now?”

Poe didn’t answer. “The Resistance is done for. Accept it, and maybe we can find a place for you here.”

Ben leaned back against the cold wall. He heard the offer, the plea in Poe’s voice. If he gave in, Poe would do everything in his power to keep them together. Ben wished it was enough.

“You know I won’t help you. And you know your probes won’t work on me.”

“We’ll see,” Poe said. His heavy boots echoed in the small cell as he left, and the scent of his starched uniform lingered.

Ben’s anger at the First Order, at the thing that had taken Poe from him boiled to a bursting point. He held onto his anger and waited. He listened for the changing of the guard, for the switch in shifts, for the guard to bring him dinner — and then he acted.

The cuffs on Ben’s wrists snapped, and with a quick squeeze, tightened the Force around the Trooper’s throat. The plate of dinner would have clattered to the floor, but Ben concentrated on his anger, and caught it before it could make a sound. Hastily, he switched into the Trooper’s gear and left, walking right past his cell guards.

But Ben didn’t make for his escape just yet. Luke had warned him against temptation, against giving into his anger, but Ben had never really listened. He used his stolen identification to access the computer and get the information he needed — both the key intelligence the Resistance had sent him for and the location of the superior officers’ quarters.

It was up, away from the hangar his X-wing would be in. He did not have a lot of time before his escape would be discovered. This was a bad idea. 

Ben did it anyway.

His plan to wait until the shift change was important. There would be a different colonel in charge, and Poe was more likely to be in his quarters. Ben approached the doors to Poe’s chambers, guarded by two Troopers at attention. Their minds were easy to manipulate. They hardly noticed him as he entered.

Poe was there, just as Ben had hoped, in the process of pulling off his jacket. He scowled at Ben.

“Trooper — what are you —”

Ben pulled the helmet off and tossed it onto the small table. Apparently a colonel’s quarters were quite the step above the barracks most officers lived in. The foyer had its own kitchenette and table, and a door that Ben assumed went to a bedroom.

Poe froze. “What are you doing here?”

Ben was direct and to the point. “Leave with me.”

“Don’t —”

As Poe stared at him, all the anger Ben had been clinging to melted away. He stepped closer and brought a hand to Poe’s cheek. “You didn’t have to come interrogate me, but you did. You could have told them a cell like that was never going to hold me, but you didn’t. Come with me.”

Poe looked up at him, and Ben could feel the way Poe’s heart pounded. He could sense the confusion, the wariness in Poe’s mind. He could sense the desire as well.

“I did miss you,” Poe finally said, and he swallowed. “That doesn’t mean I can just leave —”

“Please, just —” 

Poe kissed him. It was all the fire, the impulsive need, the burn that Ben had missed so desperately. He moaned and sank into Poe. There was no thought, only implicit agreement as Poe pulled him through the door and into, as Ben had rightly assumed, a bedroom.

“We don’t have a lot of time,” Ben murmured, but it was not an earnest protest.

Poe hummed, and Ben was unsure if it was an agreement or disagreement. He pulled Ben back onto the bed, guided Ben’s hand to his undershirt.

“By the time I get out of this Trooper uniform, they’ll have figured out I’m missing,” Ben said.

Poe tipped his head back. “Then get me off quick. You owe me.”

Heat flushed in Ben’s cheeks. Poe had not forgotten their last night together, had not stopped thinking about it, and neither had Ben.

Ben undid the slacks Poe’s uniform, eager to get rid of the stiff, sterile fabric. He wished they were not on a Star Destroyer, that they were somewhere warm, somewhere with light, but there were not many options for them.

At least once he had Poe undressed, it was possible to forget where they were. Poe was still himself under that uniform — from his heady scent to the necklace with a ring still hanging around his neck. Even his curls seemed just a little bit longer than First Order regulation, spilling out over the pillow as they did.

Ben trailed his lips up Poe’s thigh. They did not have time, but Ben wanted to linger in the little time they did have, and to linger in the warmth, to make this memory separate from everything else that had happened in the last six years.

He pressed lips against the underside of Poe’s shaft and Poe keened beneath him. Through the Force, Ben could hear Poe’s heartbeat and sense the need coming off of him in waves. He used that need to guide him, to sense exactly what Poe wanted and provide it, to slow when Poe’s need grew too great, to increase the pace when Poe started to come back to himself. It was a sort of control over Poe that Ben had never felt before, and Ben could not help but wonder how differently their relationship could have gone if they had both stayed, if they had not each abandoned each other in different ways.

Ben did not need Poe’s warning, but he was glad that Poe said something before coming in Ben’s mouth. Ben swallowed and rested his head against Poe’s hip. He closed his eyes and let Poe card his fingers through his hair.

“You don’t have to go,” Poe whispered.

Ben imagined staying here, hiding out in Poe’s quarters for an interminable amount of time. What an absurd request, and more absurd was how tempting it was.

Ben kissed Poe’s skin one more time, tenderly, softly, and climbed out of the bed. “You don’t have to stay,” Ben said.

Poe looked at him with an expression so worn, so void of the life that Ben had always remembered in Poe.

“You know I can’t go back. After everything I’ve done…”

The old Poe would not have cared. The old Poe would have jumped in without worry about consequences. But it was the old Poe who had jumped into the First Order eagerly, just to fly again. Ben only wanted, desperately, for Poe to jump back to him.

Poe sat up and dug through a drawer in the bedside table. He pulled out two communicators, no bigger than Ben’s finger, synced them, and shut them off. He tossed one to Ben.

“Never use it on a Resistance base. Never use it around anyone. And maybe… maybe we can figure this out.”

It was a start. It was also risky and wild and Ben loved it.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Your X-wing was already moved into storage. You’ll have to recall it. Use code 11007.”

Ben bent down and kissed Poe one more time. It was electric, wild, needy… It was full of risk and adventure, and it tasted properly like Poe. It was perfect.


End file.
